If You Leave Me Now
by yintotheyang
Summary: A JoLu AU Thanksgiving one shot.


A/N – Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I was going to let the holiday pass without a one shot, but I just couldn't do it. I'm Jolu whipped, I think. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and please leave a review! And eat lots of turkey because it's good for you.

**If You Leave Me Now**

_2007_

Lulu listened carefully as the head of the organization instructed them on what to do. She had never volunteered much for anything, but this year, she was helping out at a local food shelter's Thanksgiving meal and she felt good about it. Her year had consisted of her brother, Lucky, becoming addicted to pain medication and her father skipping town because he couldn't deal with it. While Lucky was in rehab, his wife had cheated on him with another one of Lulu's brothers, Nikolas and gotten pregnant with his child, causing Lucky to relapse. Lulu had tried to help everyone, which had only gotten her practically disowned. For the first time in her life, she was completely alone for Thanksgiving and she decided that instead of feeling sorry for herself, she would try to help people who actually wanted it.

The instructor finished and Lulu took her place at the mashed potatoes. She readied her serving spoon and before she knew it, she had served an entire tray. She turned to get a replacement tray and when she returned to her station, her eyes landed on the most gorgeous man she'd ever seen. He had chocolate brown eyes and she felt like he was staring into her soul as he waited for her to put mashed potatoes on his plate. She offered him a smile and when he gave her one as well, Lulu nearly dropped the food from her hands at the sight.

She gathered her senses, carefully lowered the tray to the table and spooned mashed potatoes on to his plate. He smiled at her again and moved on down the line. Lulu shook her head and turned to the next person, trying to snap out of the trance the handsome stranger had put her in.

After almost two hours, her shift was over and Lulu put together a plate for herself and took a seat in the dining room that was set up. Before long she felt someone sit down across from her. She looked up to acknowledge them politely but gasped when she saw the handsome stranger from before.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you," he offered, watching her carefully.

"No, it-it's fine," Lulu stuttered, smiling naturally. "I didn't know you were still here."

"I kept thinking I should leave, but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to get up and go," he explained. "When I saw you sit down, I just...I had to talk to you."

"About?" Lulu asked.

"I have no idea," he admitted, blushing slightly.

"I'm Lulu Spencer," she muttered, offering him her hand across the table.

"Johnny Zacchara," he replied, shaking her hand.

"So, Johnny, you feel like talking about anything in particular?" Lulu wondered.

"I guess I'm curious about why a beautiful woman like you is here on Thanksgiving day, rather than some huge family feast," Johnny answered.

"My family is...not much of a family anymore," Lulu sighed. "I don't think any of us are speaking to each other right now."

"I'm sorry," Johnny said, frowning.

"Don't be," Lulu said, shaking her head. "I'm horrible for feeling sorry for myself, when you're...um, you're here."

"I'm the one who's horrible," Johnny muttered.

"What do you mean?" Lulu questioned.

"I'm not exactly poor or homeless," Johnny replied. "I, uh...I was raised in a mansion."

"Then what are you doing here?" Lulu asked. "Getting a good laugh out of watching all these people who have nothing when you have it all?"

"No," Johnny said, clearly disgusted by her accusation. "And I don't have it all, for your information. Money doesn't buy happiness, or have you never heard that before?"

"Well it buys food, so you should have paid for your Thanksgiving meal rather than exploiting the kind people who give these meals away for free," Lulu said angrily.

"Just forget it," Johnny yelled, standing up and digging a twenty dollar bill out of his pocket. "Does that cover it? Maybe I should just leave my whole wallet."

"Like it would hurt," Lulu countered. "I'm sure your rich family could replace all of it."

"I don't have a family," Johnny snapped, dropping the wallet on the table. "All that's left of them is their money, but you're right. That money is probably never going to run out. How exciting for me."

He turned to leave and Lulu immediately felt horrible. She picked up his wallet and ran after him, stopping him just outside. His eyes were darker than they had been before. They were almost black and cold, so in contrast from the warm brown that had first caught her attention. But she still felt like he could see right through her.

"I'm sorry," Lulu offered, not knowing what else to say. "I was out of line."

"I did pay for my meal," Johnny muttered. "I just wanted to be around people instead of alone in my house. That priest in charge said it was okay."

"What happened to your family?" Lulu asked.

"Car accident," Johnny replied. "I was sixteen and star of the football team. My parents and my sister were coming to see me play, but they never made it."

"Have you been alone ever since?" Lulu wondered.

"I was financially set," Johnny shrugged. "And at sixteen, I wasn't exactly in need of being raised. One of the butlers became my guardian, but that was just a legal technicality."

"So...what are you doing now?" Lulu questioned.

"I'm talking to you," Johnny answered.

"No, I mean, what do you do the rest of the time?" Lulu clarified.

"I don't do much of anything," Johnny said, smiling sadly. "I never liked school, so I didn't go to college. I don't have to work, so...I pretty much just stay home. Except for today, which I have to admit, made a good case for me always staying home."

"Again, I'm sorry, I..." Lulu sighed. "I have no idea why I went off like I did."

"You're probably just feeling stressed," Johnny replied. "And missing your family."

"I guess I am," Lulu admitted.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Johnny asked.

"There's not much to talk about," Lulu murmured. "Ethan, the only family member who doesn't hate me, hates holidays."

"How could your family hate you?" Johnny wondered.

"I wish I knew," Lulu said, fighting back the tears. "But no one even answered when I called this morning."

"Well, I don't hate you," Johnny offered, giving her a smile.

"Really?" Lulu questioned. "Because you have every reason to."

"No, there's no real reason for hating other people," Johnny said, touching her elbow lightly. "What good is it to hate things you can't change?"

"That's a wise statement," Lulu noted as he removed his hand from her arm.

"Therapy," Johnny smiled sarcastically. "Does wonders."

"I really am-" Lulu started.

"Please don't say sorry again," Johnny begged. "I've been hearing that word since the funerals, I don't need it anymore."

"Right," Lulu nodded.

"Look, I should go," Johnny muttered. "It was nice to meet you."

"Oh, wait," Lulu said, stopping him. "Your wallet."

"Thanks," Johnny replied, taking it from her.

"I'm glad that I met you," Lulu said softly. "Maybe we could-"

"No," Johnny said, cutting her off. "We couldn't. Goodbye, Lulu."

"Bye," Lulu whispered, watching him walk away.

_2008_

Lulu smiled at the people as she served them their Thanksgiving meal. In the last year, she had really made her way in the world. She had stopped caring if her family fell apart because she realized there was nothing she could do to stop it. And she knew if she kept trying, she would lose any chance she ever had at happiness.

As the line of people moved by, she found herself wondering where Johnny was this year. If she was being honest, part of the reason she had returned to the shelter was because she was hoping she would run into him again. She had thought of him often in the past year, always hoping that wherever he was, he was okay. And happy.

Her shift passed by without a Johnny sighting and instead of making herself a plate at the shelter, she decided to head home. She stood outside and looked around, but found no cabs. She got out her phone to call one, but stopped when she heard someone clear their throat behind her.

"Hey," Johnny muttered and she smiled when her eyes landed on him.

"Hey," Lulu managed, looking him over.

"I wasn't sure if you would be here again," Johnny smiled, nodding toward the building.

"Well, I liked it last year, so I came back," Lulu replied.

"Same here," Johnny laughed.

"I can't imagine it was that much fun for you," Lulu blushed, remembering how she attacked him.

"Actually, it was sort of an awakening," Johnny admitted. "I realized a lot of things that day."

"Like what?" Lulu wondered.

"Like I was wasting my life," Johnny shrugged. "I mean, you asked me what I did and I couldn't even tell you anything that was worth anything."

"I hope you didn't feel like I was judging you," Lulu said, not sure how to react.

"No, not at all," Johnny said, smiling at her nervousness. "I just...I guess it finally clicked. The attorneys who worked for my father had been telling me for months that I needed to do something, but I wrote them off as being greedy."

"How did anything I said help you realize that?" Lulu questioned.

"It wasn't what you said, it was what you were doing," Johnny explained. "You were doing everything you could to help other people even though your life sort of sucked at that time. I was just sulking around and feeling sorry for myself."

"I thought you didn't like the word sorry," Lulu noted.

"A lot has changed," Johnny smiled. "But enough about me, what about you? How are things?"

"They're good," Lulu replied. "You helped me, too."

"How?" Johnny asked.

"I stopped trying to change everyone in my family," Lulu answered. "I finally figured out that my life was never going to be perfect and I should just enjoy what I had."

"So you're happier now?" Johnny wondered.

"Yeah, I am," Lulu nodded. "I actually have a job that I love and, somehow, I'm speaking to my brothers again."

"So why come here and not hang out with your family?" Johnny questioned.

"I wanted to give back to the place that gave so much to me," Lulu said simply.

Johnny smiled at her again and Lulu fought the blush that threatened to appear. There was just something about his stare that still got to her, even after a year of those eyes being burned in her memory.

"So, are you done here for the day?" Johnny asked, nodding toward the shelter again.

"Yeah, I was about to call a cab earlier," Lulu replied.

"Well, um, if you don't have plans-" Johnny started.

"Lulu?" a man called, walking up to them.

"Matt," Lulu replied, forcing a smile. "I thought you were working."

"Well, my brother is chief of staff, he pulled some strings," Matt smiled, slipping an arm around her waist as he reached her. "I decided I'd join you here."

"That's sweet," Lulu muttered, unable to understand why she felt so disappointed.

"Yeah," Johnny mumbled, his eyes suddenly focused on the ground.

"I'm sorry, I don't believe we've met," Matt noted, offering Johnny his hand. "Matt Hunter, Lulu's boyfriend."

"Johnny Zacchara," he said, shaking his hand. "Just a guy Lulu met here last year."

"Are you a volunteer as well?" Matt questioned.

"No," Johnny answered. "It's actually kind of a long, boring story. I'm sure Lulu can fill you in, if you want. I should be going anyway."

"Oh, okay," Lulu frowned, wishing she could talk with him longer. "It was nice to see you again."

"Yeah," Johnny nodded. "Take care."

Lulu smiled, but it was shallow, as he walked away. She was so curious as to what he would have suggested they done had Matt not shown up. Not that she should be having those thoughts, given that Matt was her boyfriend who had shown up and was still standing right next to her.

"He seemed like a nice guy," Matt said, breaking Lulu out of her trance. "Is the story of how you met really boring?"

"Pretty much," Lulu lied.

"Well, then, no need to hear about it," Matt smiled. "Let's have ourselves some turkey."

Lulu followed him back inside the shelter, her body simply going through the motions because her mind couldn't stop thinking about Johnny.

_2009_

Lulu found herself outside the shelter on Thanksgiving, even though she had a million other things to be doing. Her family was finally getting together to celebrate again, the first time in three years and she had to pick up the desserts for the events, along with several other things. But before she could, she had to stop by the shelter. She couldn't stop wondering if maybe Johnny would show up again this year and if that was the case, she wanted to see him and find out how he was doing. Again in the last year, she had thought of him often, but this year she was also wondering if he was thinking of her.

"I thought I might find you here," a voice from the past said.

Lulu turned to find Johnny smiling at her, hands shoved in his pockets.

"Habit, I guess," Lulu replied.

"You're not working here this year?" Johnny asked in surprise.

"No, actually, I have Thanksgiving plans with my family," Lulu explained.

"That's great," Johnny smiled. "So why did you come here?"

"Actually, because I thought I might find you here," Lulu admitted.

"Looks like we found each other," Johnny laughed.

"Yeah, it does," Lulu agreed. "Um...why did you want to find me?"

"Just curious about how things were going for you," Johnny shrugged. "Plus, I don't have any other Thanksgiving traditions."

"How sweet," Lulu laughed.

"What about you?" Johnny asked. "Why did you want to see me?"

"Same as you," Lulu replied. "I've, uh, thought about you a few times over the last year. I almost looked you up once, actually."

"Why would you do that?" Johnny wondered, a coldness to his voice.

"I don't know, just to talk," Lulu muttered. "But I guess you wouldn't have been interested."

"It's not that," Johnny argued. "I've just had a strange year."

"How so?" Lulu questioned.

"It's complicated," Johnny mumbled. "I'd rather not talk about it."

"But is everything okay?" Lulu asked.

"Yeah, I guess," Johnny answered. "It's not what I expected, but it's...it will be okay."

Lulu wasn't convinced, but she decided against pressing him on the matter. He clearly didn't want her to know about whatever it was and she didn't want to ruin whatever time they had talking by assaulting him with questions he didn't want to answer.

"So, what are your plans for today?" Lulu inquired, deciding to change the subject completely.

"I don't really have any," Johnny admitted. "I thought I would stop by here and then just sort of go with the flow for the rest of the day."

"Well, if you want, you could, um...come to dinner with my family," Lulu offered.

Johnny's face went through several emotion changes very quickly and before Lulu could decipher any of them, it was back to normal.

"I doubt Matt would appreciate that," Johnny said finally.

"Matt and I aren't seeing each other anymore," Lulu shrugged.

"Why is that?" Johnny asked.

"It didn't work out," Lulu answered. "I realized he wasn't what I was looking for."

"Oh," Johnny muttered, nodding his head and ignoring the unspoken question in the air.

The question on both their minds was: what was she looking for? Something Lulu had asked herself many times and had recently been answering with: Johnny.

"So, dinner?" Lulu questioned again.

"I-" Johnny started.

"Johnny, I've been waiting in the car forever," complained a very pregnant woman, walking towards them from the direction of the parking lot. "Can we get food or what?"

"Can you just wait in the car for a few more minutes, Serena?" Johnny asked, clearly annoyed.

"No, your son is hungry," Serena replied, touching her stomach. "And he's not waiting for you to finish flirting with this blonde bimbo before he gets something to eat."

"Excuse me," Lulu replied, her mouth wide in shock.

"Lulu is not a bimbo," Johnny said angrily, narrowing his eyes at Serena. "She's a friend of mine and she's very nice."

"Oh, please," Serena said, rolling her eyes. "But you know what, fine. You better get this out of your system now, though. I won't tolerate being married to a cheater."

"Married?" Lulu asked, her eyes finally noticing the large ring on Serena's left hand.

"Yes, Lulu, married," Serena smirked. "I hope that doesn't ruin any fantasies you were having about Johnny."

"Please, just go wait in the car," Johnny begged.

"Fine," Serena sighed, waddling away.

"Wow," Lulu muttered.

"I told you it was complicated," Johnny mumbled, giving her a sad smile.

"You're engaged and having a baby," Lulu noted. "That's a little bit more than complicated."

"It's not what you think, Lulu," Johnny said defensively. "Serena is a one night stand gone horribly wrong."

"What?" Lulu asked.

"I was drunk, I don't even remember the night, but I remember waking up with her at my place the next morning," Johnny explained. "I kicked her out and two months later she shows up with a positive pregnancy test and says I'm going to be a dad."

"So you're getting married and becoming one big happy family?" Lulu wondered.

"What the hell else am I supposed to do, Lulu?" Johnny questioned. "Turn my back on my son?"

"This isn't 1955, you don't have to get married to have a baby," Lulu reasoned. "You can be a good father without making yourself miserable by being married to that bitch."

"I'm sorry, where do you get off calling the mother of my child a bitch?" Johnny asked angrily. "Serena may not be the nicest person in the world, but you don't even know her."

"She called me a bimbo," Lulu pointed out.

"Yeah, and she was wrong for that, but that doesn't excuse you judging her right back," Johnny yelled.

"Well, you really want to know what I think of her, Johnny?" Lulu wondered. "I think she's a gold-digging whore."

"Excuse me?" Johnny countered.

"Oh come on, your wardrobe screams 'I've got money' and she probably picked up on that from the start," Lulu continued. "I bet that's why she went after you. Hell, she may have slipped you something to get you into bed, which is why you don't remember. Better yet, maybe you never slept with her in the first place and she's just lying about you being the father, did you ever think of that?"

"I can't believe you," Johnny mumbled, shaking his head.

"I'm just saying, maybe you should get a paternity test before you go marrying off your money to your one night stand gone horribly wrong," Lulu finished.

"I wish I had never come here," Johnny said softly. "Not today or last year or two years ago."

"Basically, you wish we had never met," Lulu replied.

"Exactly," Johnny muttered.

"Make that two of us," Lulu said sadly.

Johnny turned and walked away and Lulu looked down, unable to watch him go. She felt the tears burning behind her eyes and she made sure he was out of sight before letting them fall.

_2010_

Lulu had spent the day with her father in the hospital, knowing it could be his last Thanksgiving if he didn't change his mind about having heart surgery. The time had gone by fairly quickly and Lulu found herself walking away from the hospital after visiting hours ended. She was lost in thought as she walked and before she knew it, she found herself in front of the shelter. It had been awhile since she had allowed herself to think about Johnny, but it seemed fitting that her mind would lead her to the shelter and thoughts of him on Thanksgiving.

"I thought you wouldn't show," Johnny said softly, walking out of the shadows.

Lulu's mouth dropped open in surprise at the sight of him, having long given up hope of ever seeing him again.

"I hadn't planned on it," Lulu shrugged.

"I don't blame you," Johnny said sadly. "We didn't exactly leave things on good terms last year."

"That was my fault, I shouldn't have said all those things," Lulu apologized.

"Why did you?" Johnny wondered.

"I was...jealous," Lulu admitted. "I didn't want you to be marrying someone else."

"We never even went on a date," Johnny pointed out. "We only talked a few times."

"I know," Lulu sighed. "It was stupid to think you would have had feelings for me."

"No, it wasn't," Johnny argued. "Because I did. I still do."

"You shouldn't say that," Lulu said, shaking her head. "You're married."

"No, I'm not," Johnny replied, holding up his left hand and letting the absence of a ring back up his statement. "I didn't go through with it."

"I hope it wasn't because of me," Lulu muttered.

"Actually, it was," Johnny laughed. "In more than one way. I couldn't get anything you said out of my head and I realized that I had never even asked for a paternity test. I had just trusted Serena blindly. And I also knew that I didn't love her, which meant it was wrong to be marrying her. Especially because I was really in love with you."

"Johnny," Lulu gasped. "I-"

"Let me finish," Johnny begged. "I decided to get the test done and you were right, the baby wasn't mine. I felt like such an idiot because I realized I had fallen for all of Serena's lies so easily. I had eaten it up because I wanted to have a family again. Anyway, when I found out the truth, I gave Serena enough money to live on and she ran as fast as she could. She only wanted my money, just like you said."

"I...I don't know what to say," Lulu whispered.

"Well, I owe you a big thank you," Johnny replied. "You stopped me from making a huge mistake. Of course, it was a little bit your fault, too."

"What?" Lulu asked.

"The night that I met Serena I was drinking to forget you," Johnny answered.

"Why did you want to forget me?" Lulu wondered.

"Because I thought you were going to live happily ever after with that Matt guy," Johnny shrugged. "I thought I was an idiot who had pined over you for an entire year for nothing."

"What do you mean pined over me?" Lulu questioned. "I tried to ask you to hang out the first day we met and you refused."

"I didn't want you to get to know that guy," Johnny explained. "The man you met that day, he needed a lot of work. And I spent a year working to become a better guy and hoping you would be at the shelter again the next year. When you were, I was so happy. But you had someone else."

"What if I hadn't been there?" Lulu challenged.

"Well, I have a lot of money and a lot of resources," Johnny laughed. "Lulu's a pretty unique name, I figure I could have found you."

"You would have done that?" Lulu asked.

"More than that," Johnny muttered.

"The only reason I even agreed to date Matt was because I was trying to get over you," Lulu admitted. "I thought you didn't like me, given how you reacted when I suggested we do something, but I still couldn't stop thinking about you. When Matt asked me out, I saw it as the perfect distraction."

"So, you liked me, too?" Johnny wondered, a shy smile on his face.

"Johnny, I...I loved you, too," Lulu smiled. "I don't know how it happened, but somewhere between serving you mashed potatoes and giving you your wallet back, I fell head over heels for you. And to be honest, I still haven't gotten back up."

"Neither have I," Johnny admitted.

"Really?" Lulu questioned.

"Yeah," Johnny nodded, taking her hands in his. "I realize we know next to nothing about each other, but I can't deny what I feel."

"We can learn about each other," Lulu suggested. "Maybe start seeing each other more than one day a year."

"I would love that," Johnny smiled, laughing slightly.

"You know, technically, it's our three year anniversary," Lulu noted, smiling at him. "And we haven't even kissed."

"Well, I think that should be corrected," Johnny replied. "Assuming that's what you want."

"Oh, it's definitely what I want," Lulu muttered, stepping closer to him.

Johnny chuckled slightly and then untangled their fingers so he could bring his hands to her face. He kissed her gently, savoring the moment they had both been waiting on for three years. Her hands came to his face as well and she deepened the kiss. They kissed as if their lives depended on it, and with three years of hidden passion being released, they might have. His hands wrapped around her waist and he backed her against the building as he continued to make himself familiar with her mouth.

"Whoa," Lulu giggled, pushing against his chest gently.

"What?" Johnny asked, trying to catch his breath.

"We need to, you know...go somewhere," Lulu suggested, looking around.

"Yeah, we do," Johnny agreed, kissing her again. "Where?"

"My place is pretty close," Lulu answered.

"Close is good," Johnny whispered, moving his lips to her neck.

"Johnny," Lulu said seriously and he stopped to look in her eyes. "How long did you wait out here for me today?"

"Since eight this morning," Johnny admitted.

"What if I hadn't come?" Lulu wondered.

"I would have found you, Lulu," Johnny said firmly. "Because about ten minutes before you did show up, I realized that I would never be happy if I didn't have you."

"I love you, Johnny," Lulu smiled.

"I love you, too," Johnny replied, kissing her briefly again. "Happy Thanksgiving."

"Happy anniversary," Lulu corrected, kissing him again.

_2037_

Johnny and Lulu held hands as they left the shelter for the day after serving the Thanksgiving meal like they did every year. They stopped just outside and Johnny pulled her into his arms just as he had for almost three decades.

"I still love you," Johnny said happily.

"And I still love you," Lulu muttered.

"Happy thirtieth anniversary," they whispered in unison before sharing a heart warming kiss.


End file.
